Getting Stretchier

Back in April, I discovered a new yoga app. It was a side effect of getting a new phone — I had to re-download all my apps. On my old phone, I had been using Sworkit, an aerobic/stretching/yoga app, but found it repetitive and unchallenging. I decided to replace it with a dedicated yoga app, and I found DownDog. 

As a mini-review, I absolutely love this app. I haven’t ever splurged on in-app purchases for any app, but I’m considering it for this one. I’ve been using it consistently since April, and I don’t see myself stopping. Its fun, it’s challenging, and I’m seeing benefits from using it — why would I not support that?

The app has 5 difficulty levels: Beginner I, Beginner II, Intermediate I, Intermediate II, and Advanced. (I’ve made it to Intermediate I.) While each level gets more advanced, every level offers a great workout. And each routine is different, so you’re not doing the same routine over and over again. An actual yoga instructor narrates the whole session, so you know where to focus your energy and how to position yourself so you pose properly. And if you want to pay the upgrade fee, you can customize your background music and which muscle groups your sessions focus on. It’s an incredibly well-made app, and I definitely recommend it. 

I struggle, though, because my legs and hips are very inflexible. I’ve been trying to focus on lengthening my hamstrings and my inner thighs, and I have seen progress. When I fold forward, I can now almost place my palms flat on the ground without bending my knees — almost. I’m getting there. 

But even know though I am seeing progress, I wish it was going faster. Not being that flexible is limiting me a bit. There are a lot of poses I can’t do, or can’t do as well as I’d like, because my legs just will not bend far enough. My strength and balance are improving, and I’m trying to get to where I could do a yoga sequence on my own, without the app. But I’m just not physically able to do as much as I’d like yet. 

I realized this is kind of a metaphor for my life right now. I got a job working as a bank teller, which I am actually really enjoying. I love the people, and the work is a good balance of challenging and simple. But the fact remains — I was doing this exact same job in a different city during college. It may have the chance for promotion, but it may not, and while I am grateful to have a job I don’t hate, a part of me would rather be doing something else, something that pays a little more, something that made use of my two degrees. I had hoped to be a little higher up in the job ladder at this point — I wasn’t expecting anything glamorous, but I did hope for a little something more. 

My whole life right now is one huge lesson in patience and living in the moment. Sometimes I have to remind myself to enjoy what I have right now instead of always wishing for something better. And I’m having to reevaluate my values a bit. I have always dreamed of some sort of a career, but there’s also a lot to be said for having small hobbies that satisfy me and only me. 

Blogging is one of those things. You may not have noticed, but I’ve been in a bit of a blogging rut for awhile. I’ve missed a few weeks, and several recent Thursdays. Part of this is because I’m struggling to find interesting things in my life to write about. Who wants to hear my rants about bank customers, or my complaints about meal planning, or my lengthening list of home improvement projects I now want to do? I think. In college, there was plenty of fodder for interesting discussions and opinion pieces. Now, it’s harder to find something interesting enough to write about. When I sit down to write about my life, though I enjoy it, it bores me. 

I guess it’s an opportunity to stretch my creativity. I want to continue blogging, because I love it, so I’ll just have to look harder for quality content. I need to get stretchier in all areas of my life — a cheesy metaphor, but an apt one. My hobbies and interests and goals need to stretch around my new life situation if they are to continue to grow and develop. And like with yoga, I’m getting there. Slowly, but I am. 

All opinions expressed about the app are my own, and I was not compensated for the mini-review. 

Goals Summer 2017

I’m in the midst of two huge life changes.  I just graduated, and I’m still job hunting.  I thought I would be able to hold out for a permanent, full-time position, but I’m getting to the point where I just need an income, so those plans have changed some.  I’m also in the beginning stages of planning a wedding.  My life is weird right now.  I’m back and forth between the place I now share with my fiance and my childhood home, and it feels a little like I’m just drifting along.  A job would ground me some, but obviously I’m not there yet.

As far as goals go, my floaty situation makes it a little more complicated than normal.  Typically, I like to make concrete goals based on what I’m doing.  But right now, I’m not doing anything concrete.  So my goals for this season, from now until my wedding at the end of September, have had to be more introspective.  It’s only been a month since I’ve graduated, but it has been very frustrating not having an income or a set plan of my own.  I tend toward pessimism anyway, but this situation has definitely made that worse, and that’s not good for me or anyone around me.  So these goals are my attempt to change that.

  1. Be more selfless — nothing I do in my life affects me and only me.  This is kind of a broad goal, which is not how you’re supposed to make goals, but this is something I need to work on.  One specific thing I need to do is plan my wedding for my fiance.  I get hung up on the fact that we’re having a traditional wedding at a moment in our lives when we ourselves can’t afford it, which really bothers me.  Sometimes it bothers me so much I feel like scrapping everything and going to the courthouse.  But both our parents have told me multiple times that they want to give us a beautiful wedding.  Weddings are family affairs, and I also know that my fiance wants a traditional wedding.  So when I get overwhelmed and exasperated, I have to remember that I’m not doing anything for just me.
  2. Communication Goals:
    1. Talk to myself!  This sounds crazy, but this is actually a proven method of motivation and emotion management.  Speaking to yourself out loud offers the most benefits, but even talking to yourself in your head can have a good effect.  I usually feel too silly to talk to myself out loud, but sometimes, when I notice how negatively I’m thinking, I try to turn that around and tell myself the good side of what’s happening, or why what I’m thinking is wrong.  And it does help.  (Try it before you call me crazy.)
    2. Make it a point to speak to people I don’t see on a regular basis.  I’m bad about not texting or calling people when I haven’t seen them in awhile.  I haven’t had to deal with this, really, because I’ve never spent more than a few months away from my close friends.  But now we’ve all graduated, and we’re all over the place.  I need to initiate contact once or twice a month at least if I want to keep up the friendship.  And I’m much better about keeping up with my parents, but I need to make it more of a point to say hello to my siblings once in awhile, too.
    3. Always, always tell my fiance if something is bothering me.  Sometimes I find myself repressing emotions, and it just makes me bitter and angrier at things that go wrong.  He has never once failed me or ignored my perspective when I’ve told him something that had been bothering me, and I need to remember that and give him the chance to help.  And on the flip side of this, I need to make sure I’m not ignoring his needs, either.
  3. Be assertive.  During the past couple months, I’ve made decisions that I thought through carefully.  But then I would find out that one or more people didn’t like that decision, or didn’t think it was best for me, and I would end up changing my mind or waffling back and forth.  It caused a lot of stress, and I’m tired of that.  In decisions that I make from now on, I will of course consult the people that decision may directly involve, and will think through all my options.  But once the decision is made, I’m not changing because of differences in opinion.  Even though not having a job makes me feel like a child, I’m not.  I’m an adult, and adults make decisions that others don’t like.

I’m giving myself a little wiggle room to change/modify/add to these goals as the weeks go by.  But I think these are good starting points.

Introducing NerdyWordyBirdy

No, not me.  You already know me.  And since you already know me, you probably already know that in trying to keep up my Spanish skills, I decided it would be a good idea to start a blog in Spanish.  So I did.

Si habla español y quiere leer mi blog nuevo, haz clic aquí.

This blog was started solely to practice my Spanish.  I could have just created a folder on my Google Drive, but I like blogs too much, and posting my work where anyone can (hypothetically) read it makes me more careful about grammar and good content, and gives me more accountability and incentive.

As of now, the plan is to post once a week on Mondays.  I may end up using essay prompts, or even write short fictional pieces.  I’m typically not a fan of fiction blogs, but I’ve been having writer’s block of late, and the point of the new blog is to practice, not to write the most profound posts ever.  (Although if I stumble upon a really good idea, you won’t find me complaining.)

So, if you speak Spanish, feel free to take a look.  If not, or if this doesn’t interest you in the slightest, please ignore my shameless self-promotion.

Goal Update: April 2017

We’re halfway through April, so I’m technically late for a goal update! I have only 2 weeks left of college (!), and I remember that during my last goal update I unofficially culled some goals, so this will likely be a bit shorter than normal. 

Life Goals

  1. Be intentional about communication, especially with roommates. Well, I am glad I made this goal, because otherwise I may not have said anything to my roommate when I came home one night to see her boyfriend, who I’ve never met, drunk and standing in doorway of my apartment in only his boxers. To say that was an uncomfortable, infuriating situation is a huge understatement. But because I did have this goal, and because my boyfriend, who was with me when I happened upon that lovely scene, was also very angry, I quelled my hatred of confrontation and talked to her the next day. And because she is a nice person, she apologized, and has talked to her boyfriend. And we are both moving out in three weeks, so hopefully it won’t happen again.
  2. Get physically stronger, or failing that, just don’t be a couch potato. This was one of the goals I almost threw out the window, but modified instead. However, since getting a new phone, I discovered a fabulous yoga app. I expect to have more specific goals to use it when I start my new round of goals after graduation! I may even give the app its own review post, because I am loving it. 
  3. Read more non-white authors. I’m honestly not even actively trying to find these anymore, since I already had several great ones on my TBR in March. But great-sounding books keep appearing in my path, and they keep being by non-white authors. I’m not complaining. Check out my TBR.
  4. Food: Cook, and stick to $15/month on coffee. Cooking is now an opportunistic thing. But I have stuck to my coffee budget, even though I’m already at my limit for April due to a $6 boutique coffee shop honey lavender latte. No regrets. 

    Education/Career Goals

    1. COB Ambassadors: all goals on this have been killed. RIP. 
    2. Apply to 5ish jobs a month. Yep, still doing this. Doesn’t seem like it’s paying off, though. It’s starting to stress me out. 

    That’s it for the goals. Here’s to the home stretch to graduation. 

    Spring Goals Update: March 2017

    It’s the beginning of March, so it’s time for a goals update!

    Life Goals

    1. Be intentional about communicating with others, especially roommates.  As far as roommates go, this is going fine.  We don’t talk much, but we get the important things done.  Family and boyfriends are a different matter — my boyfriend and I are quickly realizing that life happens all at once.  He got an internship, so we are planning to move cities and get an apartment together.  Neither of our parents like that very much, especially my mom.  It’s been difficult to figure out how to maintain respect while still defending my own decisions.  I’m guessing there will be some conversations this week, since it’s spring break and I’m home.  As for the boyfriend, I’m usually okay at telling him how I feel, except when I start to get overwhelmed and have to deal with PMS hormones at the same time and end up getting really mad over little things that others do and it’s all because I do feel ready to be an adult, but at the same time I don’t…this is all hypothetically speaking, of course.  I haven’t yelled at anyone, at least, and when I get upset he knows exactly what to do.  I don’t know how he stays so calm when I am so not, but he does.  And he even makes me dinner.  I’m really glad I am writing this update now, though, because it’s reminding me to take a deep breath and communicate rather than holding stuff in.
    2. Get physically stronger.  With all the studying I’m having to do this semester, it’s a struggle just to get enough body movement in so that I don’t feel like a blob.  I think this goal is going to have to be scrapped in favor of just move your body sometimes!
    3. Find ways to support causes I believe in.  This has also fallen by the wayside in favor of reading for my capstone and studying for exams.  I will keep it on here, however, because I know that this can be done anytime, and it’s good to be reminded so that I can be on the lookout for opportunities.  I suppose working as a COB Ambassador could be considered a way to do this somewhat, since I believe the COB here does an incredible job of supporting its students.
    4. Read more non-white authors.  Capstone project — check.  Once I graduate, I’ve got a lot of books on TBR that I put on there especially for this, so I’ll be trying to find them then.
    5. Food: continue cooking at least once a week; stick to ~$15 a month on coffee.  Cooking has slacked off a bit lately, but that’s also because spring break is about to be here and I’m trying to avoid buying groceries until I get back.  As for coffee, I’ve still stuck to my goal!  Go me!

    Education/Career Goals

    1. COB Ambassadors: Try to help project manage an event.  I keep having opportunities to project manage, and I keep not speaking up to claim them.  We only have four meetings left, and I’m afraid I may have missed all my chances. So here’s my goal for the next two months: if another opportunity comes up, I WILL SPEAK UP.  I don’t care what, where, or when the event is, I will put my name in to project manage an event.  I will not keep quiet for fear of people thinking, her? She can’t project manage an event.  And if I don’t get another chance to, I will learn from these horrible missed opportunities and say yes to the next one that comes my way, even if it scares me.
    2. Apply to ~5 jobs a month.  I have completely redone my resume, and have been applying to internships and jobs like crazy.  I’m guessing if I hear back about any of them, it won’t be until the end of March or beginning of April.  It’s a little frustrating, because my boyfriend and I can’t really plan very well until I know how much I’m going to be making.  But I know this is how job searches go, and I’m trying to be patient.

    So, I’m doing okay on some, and not so great on others.  I wish I could be doing a bit better, but no one can be perfect all the time.  I’m hoping I’ll have more positive things to say in April.

    Spring Goals Update: February 2017

    So, we’re about a month into the year.  How have I done so far on my goals for this semester?

    Life Goals

    1. Be intentional about communicating with others, especially roommates.  Well, so far my roommates and I have had zero problems — mainly because none of us are ever around.  We pass each other like ships in the night and when we happen to be home at the same time we do our own thing.  Honestly, that’s how I like it.  In my experience being friends with your roommates just creates more problems than it’s worth.
    2. Get physically stronger.  I worked out a few times the very first week of school, but I underestimated how packed my weeks would  be.  I don’t have Friday classes, so all my classes are squeezed into Monday-Thursday, and Friday I have meetings and also try to knock out as much homework as possible.  So this is not going great.  However, a couple friends and I went to a beginner ballet class on Monday night, and we might try to continue, because it was fun and a great workout.
    3. Find ways to support causes I believe in.  Well, due to time constraints, I haven’t looked at this at all.  However, my capstone project for my Spanish degree has to do with immigration, and that’s something I care about, so that kind of counts.
    4. Read more non-white authors.  Because of the nature of my capstone project, I’ll be reading a lot of Latino authors.  Check out my Goodreads shelf to see what exactly I’ll be reading.  I may not be able to get to all of these for my project, but I do hope to read all of them eventually whether or not I use them.
    5. Food: continue cooking at least once a week; stick to ~$15 a month on coffee.  The boyfriend and I have cooked a ton, it feels like.  There have only been a couple nights so far where I’ve grabbed a single-serve microwave meal from the freezer.  Otherwise, we’ve made a couple simple ready-to-cook Asian meals, and I’ve home-cooked chicken fettucine Alfredo, Costa Rican-esque rice and beans, banana bread, Red Lobster bread (like the rolls, but in bread form), and simple spaghetti and meat sauce.  (See very professional iPhone photos below!)  It’s all simple food, but it’s always a victory to cook instead of warming something up, and then I have leftovers to eat for lunch.  As for coffee, I only spent $11.17 this month (not including creamer and coffee I keep at home, of course — those are grocery purchases).  Go me!

    Education/Career Goals

    1. COB Ambassadors: Try to help project manage an event.  I think this is definitely going to be possible this semester.  We have a new organization president this semester, and during our first meeting she had us all fill out an anonymous survey about what is and isn’t working in the program.  From that, she specifically wants project managers who have never project managed before, which I haven’t.  Last semester, everyone who had done it before would immediately volunteer for the positions, but now more preference will be given to those who haven’t done it yet, so I should get a chance to.  Yay!
    2. Apply to ~5 jobs a month.  Well, I applied to several all at once last weekend, but I’m not really expecting any responses.  I decided to see what Career Services had to say about my resume before I apply to any more, so I’ll be giving that an overhaul.  I love and hate resumes, y’all.  They’re so beautiful and neat and organized, but it’s so hard to get them to where they really show off your relevant skills and interests.  I know I would be a good candidate for many jobs, but a lot of the things that make me a good worker are soft skills.  I really have to work to show how my class projects and previous work experience will translate into me being an asset for a company.

    I have these goals written on my desk calendar, and I didn’t think I was doing quite as well as I am on them.  So this has been a bit of a mood boost and motivator all at once.  And that’s exactly what goal setting is supposed to do in the first place.  Here’s to February.

    Spring 2017 Goals

    Well, it’s that time of year.  I started doing seasonal goals in the summer, and really have seen a difference in how deliberate I am about doing or not doing certain things.  So it definitely makes sense for me to continue that.  My dilemma now is that I don’t really like New Years’ Resolutions, per se, because I never keep them.  I think it’s better for me to create seasonal goals, and update them until I either achieve them or they become a habit.  So these are my goals for my final semester of college — January through May.

    Life Goals

    1. Be intentional about communicating with others, especially roommates.  I really hate confrontation, and I want people to like me, so I tend to just shut up and tolerate it when someone does something that makes me uncomfortable.  While the roommates I had last year were really awesome, there were a few things that did bother me, and I bottled it up and let it get to me rather than just talking to my roommate about it.  This semester, I have two new roommates, and while I’m not going to be unreasonable, I am going to voice concerns if I have them, and I’m going to try to prevent problems rather than solve them.
    2. Get physically stronger.  When I was in high school, I had a routine I did almost every day, and I had great muscle tone and concentration.  College changed that — my schedule changed and I didn’t really have the room to do my routine in the dorm.  Now, I walk to campus every day, so I normally count that as exercise, since it’s at least movement.  But I need to be doing something more, and I definitely need to be in the habit of exercising once I graduate, because it’s likely I’ll be driving to a job — goodbye, built-in exercise.  Since I’m bad at exercising for the heck of it, and I’ve noticed how much weaker I’ve gotten since having to carry heavy cameras and tripods around all the time, getting stronger is my goal to reach for.
    3. Find ways to support causes I believe in.  Since I’ve been in college, I’ve really come to solidify what I believe in, and I’m to the point where I want to be more active than just talking about an issue or sharing a video on Facebook.  This might be a little tricky, because I can’t contribute to anything financially right now.  But I may be able to volunteer a little, or something like that — I just need to research.
    4. Read more non-white authors.  I mentioned a couple posts ago that I’ve noticed how few non-white authors I read, so I’ve been trying to add new authors to my TBR.  I’ve already marked a couple off my list (I highly recommend Diane Guerrero’s In the Country We Love), and plan to continue this.  I may not have a ton of time to devote to pleasure reading, though, so we’ll see how this goes.
    5. Food: Continue cooking at least once a week; stick to ~$15/month on coffee purchases.  I do cook fairly regularly, but I also end up eating frozen microwave meals or fast food quite a bit too.  I actually kind of enjoy cooking, and I eat a lot healthier when I cook.  I just need a reminder to continue doing it.  Also, this is my continuing experiment on how much I really spend on coffee.  During cold months, I like brewing my own coffee at home, but I like cold coffee when it’s warm.  Lucky me got a French press for Christmas, so I’m planning on using it to make cold brew when it gets warm to cut down on iced coffee purchases.

    Education/Career Goals

    1. COB Ambassadors:  Try to help project manage an event.  This is a continuation of one of my fall goals.  I don’t know if this will be possible, because I’m not sure how crazy the semester is going to be.  But I’ll keep my eyes open.
    2. Apply to ~5 jobs a month at least.  This is going to be an -ish goal.  Normally when I sit down to apply for jobs, I do 3 or 4 at a time and then don’t look again for awhile, because it takes a few weeks for new jobs to be posted.  Regardless, I don’t need to be neglecting this.  It won’t be the end of the world if I don’t, but I’d really like to have a job lined up before I graduate.  How’s that for a goal?

    I may end up adding to this list as the semester really gets under way, but those are the main things I want to focus on in the coming months.  This is already quite a lot, so I don’t want to overload myself.

    Finally, here’s a random life update: my aunt, who helps manage a new-ish church in Alabama, contacted me recently to be the church’s webmaster of sorts.  I’ll be updating the site and content every so often, and I’m really excited about that!

    Final Fall 2016 Goals Update

    Since this is the last week of the fall semester, it’s time for a final update on the goals I set.

    Goals for Employment

    1. Apply for entry-level jobs in marketing.  So far, I think my total applied-for jobs is at 21 or 22.  Pretty respectable.  I’ve only gotten calls back from the companies I’m not really excited about, but that’s okay.  I’ll keep applying, and I’ve got backup plans and internship applications going as well.  Hopefully winter break will give me time to make good progress on this.
    2. Utilize university resources.  I took personality assessments, went to a few workshops, and am looking into an entrepreneurship competition for the spring.  I definitely could have done more with this one, but I think with this goal in mind I participated in more than I would have otherwise.

    Goals for Extracurriculars

    1. Video Production Team: Work at least one game per sport.  So far we’ve only been covering soccer, volleyball, and basketball, and I’ve worked multiple games of each.  I may not be the best at graphics or being a camera man, and my size has definitely held me back some — it’s hard to shoulder a camera for 3 hours when the camera is as big as your torso.  However, this is honestly one of the best jobs I’ve ever had.  I’m excited to work all the basketball games over break.
    2. COB Ambassadors: Work one event a month.  I think I’ve made this goal, but just barely.  Somehow big events always landed on Tuesday or Thursday, when I have classes literally all day.  Next semester should be better, since I’ll only be taking 15 hours of classes.
    3. COB Ambassadors: Project manage one event before graduation.  At this point, I don’t know if there will be time for me to both shadow a project manager and also project manage my own event.  Co-managing may be a better option, but I’ll just have to wait till next semester to see what all will be going on.

    Goals for Daily Life

    1. Don’t add unnecessary stress.  Really the only stress I’ve had this semester have been over things that were out of my control.  Apart from a few random incidents, I haven’t worked myself up about much, and I’m trying to let go of the things I can’t change. My focus this week will be on projects anyway, so I won’t be giving attention to much else.
    2. Cut back on buying coffee. So, this hasn’t happened. At all. I have, however, tried to be smart about my spending — I use a punch card at the local coffee shop and use a reloadable card at Starbucks so at least I get a bit of a reward for the money I spend. I’ve also been making coffee at home regularly. If I try to cut back again, I’ll definitely need to set a specific dollar amount per month. I try to stick to a set amount mentally, but having it in writing will help.
    3. Make time for friends. Honestly, this hasn’t gone super well. Five group projects have taken up a lot of my time the past month, and everyone else is busy as well. We have planned a group outing for after finals, though, so hopefully we can make that work.  And I hope to see some of my older friends when I’m home over break!
    4. Make time for myself.  Seeing as how I’ve had the time to begin posting regularly here, this has been a resounding success.  This is more due to my classes being easier (or me slacking on them?) than to any brilliant time management on my part, but I’m definitely thankful nonetheless!  I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have this blog as a creative outlet.

    And my overall goal for the semester:

    1. Enjoy senior year.  This is a definite yes.  There have been annoying frustrating things, obviously, because that’s how life is.  But I’m enjoying planning for the next step in life, and I’m really, really looking forward to what’s next.

    In about a week, I’ll have only six months between me and graduation.  It’s a little stressful to think that between now and then, I’ll have to find a job (crossed fingers!), and a new living situation, and I’ll truly be out on my own for the first time.  But honestly, I am more than ready.  This semester has definitely been good, and I’m just looking forward to what’s next.  Plus, I already have ideas for goals I want to accomplish in the new year.

    Also, I just want to give a shout out to everyone who has been reading my blog.  Even though I’ve been blogging since 2012, I’ve only really completely dived in since June, and I have loved all the feedback I’ve gotten!  I genuinely appreciate everyone who has read, liked, and commented on the thoughts that run through my head.  So thank you all, and have a great weekend!

    On Kids, and Why I Don’t Want Them

    I haven’t wanted kids for a long time.

    Obviously, I’m only 21.  I’m still in school.  I’m in a relationship, but not engaged.  I’m not at a place right now where I could feasibly have kids, even if I wanted them.  I know lots of people my age with kids, and it works for them.  But for me, now is not the time.  And there may well never be a time.

    I used to like kids, back when I was 8, 10, 13 years old.  I liked playing with babies (though I have never thought they smelled good).  I thought toddlers were the cutest.  I babysat for a few families.  But as I got older my desire to have my own disappeared.

    This is common knowledge.  People, when they find out I don’t want them, laugh and say I’ll change my mind.  I’m too young to know, apparently.  Right now the common question is, “When will you get married?”  But after that, it’ll be, “When are the babies coming?”

    There are a lot of reasons I don’t want kids.  I’m in college, surrounded by people who want to achieve.  I want to achieve, too.  I’d like to own my own business, or run a marketing department, or be a real estate agent.  I want a career, and kids would complicate that.

    Second, I read this article a few months ago that had a theory about people who don’t find babies cute.  The (paraphrased) theory was that disgust may override the parental care response when a baby is seen.  When most people see a baby, they see a helpless, cute creature that can’t survive on its own, and they want to take care of it.  Other people see a helpless creature that’s kind of gross and annoying because it can’t take care of itself.  These same people find baby animals cute, because baby animals are much more self-sustaining.  I feel like the article was written about me.

    I just don’t like children.  I’m not good at interacting with them.  I’m very small, so children tend to see me more as another kid than an authority figure, and that just makes it worse.  To be brutally honest, I find kids annoying and expensive.  Kids tend to replace dreams.

    That’s not to say I look down on people who have kids.  While I don’t understand it, I know that kids are the dream for a lot of people.  I have several friends who have wanted to be stay-at-home moms since they were children, and that’s great.  It really is.  It takes a lot to raise a child.  I appreciate people who do it.  I just don’t want to.

    I’ve talked to my boyfriend about this.  He’s known that I don’t really want kids.  And he doesn’t want them either, right now.  But I know people change their minds.

    I asked him, the other day, whether he thought he might want children in the future.  He thought about it for a little while, and said maybe.  A little us running around would be really cute.  And they would be around to take care of us when we get old.

    I said I thought he probably would.  I felt like crying.

    He asked me, Does that bother you?

    I wanted to say no.  Instead I asked him, What if you do?  Kids are a deal breaker for a lot of people.

    He sat up and told me this.  If I change my mind, and want kids, that’s fine.  But if not, he’s not going anywhere.  Because we, the two people here right now, are what matter, not hypothetical future children.  We, the two people here right now, are best friends, and want to spend our lives together, and whether or not that involves kids, it will still be the life we both want.  He’ll still be happy, even if it’s just us two front porch sittin’ when all our hairs are gray.

     

    Fall 2016 Goals Update #2

    Another month, another update.  Without further ado…

    Goals for Employment

    1. Apply for entry-level jobs in marketing.  Still doing this!  The day I wrote this post, I actually had my first interview ever for a big-girl job.  I think it went pretty well, and I am excited about the possibilities with that company.  So we shall see!
    2. Utilize university resources.  Check — I went to a resume workshop, both to polish up my own resume and to give a COB Ambassador presence.  I think my resume looks quite a bit better than it did.  Also, we’re doing mock interviews in my Spanish class, so that will be awesome practice.

    Goals for Extracurriculars

    1. Video Production Team: Work at least one game per sport.  I’ve worked a lot of soccer, a couple volleyball games, and am signed up for almost every basketball game we have in November.  It’ll be busy, but basketball is really fun, and the paycheck will definitely be nice.
    2. COB Ambassadors: Work one event a month.  This month I worked the Majors Fair on preview day, and the resume workshop also counted as an event.  Coming up next month the COB will be hosting its own career fair, so I’ll probably be involved with that somehow.
    3. COB Ambassadors: project manage one project before graduation.  Still working on this.

    Goals for Daily Life

    1. Don’t add unnecessary stress.  This is surprisingly still going quite well.  I got really bad road rage driving to see my family a few weeks ago, but honestly that was warranted.  There’s just something about vehicles that make people do stupid things.  And I know I need to not let things bother me that I can’t change, but sometimes that’s just how it goes.
    2. Cut back on buying coffee.  *closes eyes*  It’s kinda weird how my list jumps straight from 1 to 3…oh well.
    3. Make time for friends.  The semester has gotten a bit busier than it had been, so I’ve slacked off on this.  But a few friends and I are planning a Netflix night next week, and another friend’s birthday is this month as well, so that should remedy that.
    4. Make time for myself.  Again, class work has started to creep into my free time, but I still find some time to read or watch a show or two.

    And finally, the goal of goals:

    1. Enjoy senior year.  So far, so good.  I’m very tired of being school — I would much rather being doing something than sitting passively in class all day, but the end is near and I’m trying to remember to relish the time I have left at college.

    This semester has gone by so fast.  Here we are at the end of October, and I feel like September just started.  My very last advisement is coming up, and graduation is starting to feel so close!  I’ve started a list of what I want to do and get involved in once I graduate.  Really moving out on my own is so exciting to think about.  Here’s to the rest of my second-to-last semester!  Next time I post a goals update, I’ll be studying for finals.