5 Reasons Why I Don’t Pray Anymore

I have a complicated relationship with Christianity.  I grew up in it and was serious about it at one time.  Then, I had a quiet time every day and wrote down prayers in my journal every night.  But a lot of my beliefs have lost their appeal in college.  I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever make my way back into the church — I’m comfortable there, and I know all the right answers, but I don’t like it. This discussion could go on for ages, but here are some of the reasons I don’t pray anymore.

  1. It feels like a lie.  I don’t call myself a Christian — Christ follower — anymore, so praying feels extremely insincere.  Why should I do something I know my heart isn’t in?  It’s a disservice to myself and others.
  2. It doesn’t connect me to God like it’s supposed to.  I never got any responses in my life or in my quiet time.  For years, praying felt like I was just talking to myself.  Consequently…
  3. It feels like a waste of time.  Why should I pray when no one is listening?
  4. I don’t know how.  I’ve grown up in the church, and I’ve heard every possible way to pray.  I don’t feel that I ever found my own “style” or way to pray, so it always felt like I was just a child repeating phrases without knowing what they meant.
  5. I associate it with guilt.  It’s difficult to keep my mind on track when praying, and that would make me feel like a bad Christian.  My entire relationship with Christ was a cycle of guilt and trying again and failing and more and more guilt.

Sometimes, I wish I could still pray.  I’ve had friends and family members who I honestly wanted to pray for.  But I can’t anymore.  And that’s fine.  For now, I’m happier with thinking through my life on my own terms.

Do you feel like I do?  If you pray, why?

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3 thoughts on “5 Reasons Why I Don’t Pray Anymore

  1. Tonya Charles

    I understand. Completely. I didn’t grow up in the church, but came to it during my 20s. I am now in the midst of a ‘crisis of faith’. I just read ‘When We Were On Fire’. As a fellow bibliophile, give it a read. It was eye opening, at least for me.

  2. Pingback: In Response to the Very Worst Missionary | Mission:Incomplete

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